I wanted to write something for World Mental Health Day instead I’ve written it now but we still need to be talking about mental health all year round.
For anyone who watched “mind over marathon” earlier this year I think it was a really eye opening documentary. Focusing on how people with mental health issues used running as an outlet and how the London Marathon charity of the year Heads Together was helping to reduce the stigma of mental health and encouraging people to talk about their battles. So here goes ...
I grew up, very fortunately, without any mental health issues and to be truthful was very naive as to the issues people face. It’s only over the past few years as I have started to struggle with my physical health my mental health has also slightly declined. However this year it’s taken a real hit!
If you read my last blog about my near residence in hospital at the start of the year this is where it’s all escalated from. It’s funny how our minds work. I don’t remember much of my stay but my mind would (and sometimes still does even after 8 months) wake me up in a panic about it! I didn’t want to walk past people in case they saw me at my worst and I didn’t remember them. I didn’t like how being in hospital and my medications were affecting my memory and slowing my thought processing so in turn I just got more frustrated by it all therefore starting down that slippery path!
With my physical health I was very keen to improve it, doing what I was told to get my epilepsy and others back on track. However I didn’t want to talk about how it was making me feel, I had the aged old thought that my emotions would just sort themselves out.
I’ve had other hospital admissions this year and with each admission I was getting more frustrated and emotionally feeling more drained. If asked I would slap on a fake smile or laugh and say “ye, I’m absolutely fine”.
To everyone else I imagine it was becoming glaringly obvious I wasn’t “fine”. To the person; who is now one of my main confidants, that sat me down for 50 mins and asked how I was doing emotionally I apologise for sitting in silence that whole time! I wasn’t one for expressing feelings of sadness and stupidly thought it was a sign of weakness.
I felt really guilty for feeling low, l’ve got engaged and have bought a house this year ... how can this emotion still be draining me? It was making me lose interest in things and feel completely isolated even though the support network I have is brilliant; I didn’t want to speak or see anyone. This is when I knew it was getting too much. I felt like I was balancing on a tightrope and only one comment or knock of confidence, which I would normally laugh off was making it all that harder to balance. When I was allowed back out running, magically I thought this would be the cure. Although it helped, these feelings were still there ... therefore I knew it was time to seek professional help.
There are all different avenues to help with mental health issues: speaking to your friends/family, counselling, seeing your GP and medications can also help. I have always remained adamant from a personal preference I didn’t want medication in case it interacted with the others I take. Therefore I’m not afraid to say I have benefited from many a chat with friends and family but have also sought professional help from a counsellor. Sometimes its good to speak to someone who is not involved with you at all. I feel the mix of the two are what benefit me most and can honestly say some of the chats I have to those closest to me help keep me functioning.
I feel if I had started to talk about the emotions my diagnoses gave me 3/4 years ago rather than laughing them off I don’t think I’d have taken as much of a hit this year! I’m still very much learning how to deal with my emotions and overcoming setbacks but I feel I’m getting better at talking about them now to help me move on... I recently had a seizure that halted 5 months seizure free, so I talked about it, expressed the emotion and frustration the day after then a brand new day started without that emotion built up inside, which normally would grind me down.
Mental health covers such a wide spectrum of conditions and issues, often two people aren’t the same. For myself I was getting increasingly unhappy about what my epilepsy and other health problems were physically doing to my body and I was losing sight of (and without knowing grieving for) the person I used to be and had started to feel worthless and a burden to others. Sometimes mental health problems are just how a person feels, they can’t just snap out of it as much as they would like to do, it’s their feelings and they need help to overcome them.
1 in 4 people in the UK will suffer a mental health problem in a year. Given those statistics unfortunately I think it will hit most of us at some point. If you start to suffer I would encourage you to seek help early, don’t be afraid to talk to others it’s amazing what they’ll have been through too and don’t worry about the stigma attached ... the more we talk about it the more it reduces.
If you take anything from this if you see someone who is starting to struggle lend an offering hand, ask them how they are, go for a coffee, whatever will help that person best. If you’re the one struggling utilise that lending hand, as much as you might want to fight it on your own, it’s good to get those vent up emotions out.
Can’t thank those enough who are helping me on this path, you’re all legends!!
My grandpa always used to tell me to speak the truth ... so this one is for you grumps xx
Sara
For anyone who watched “mind over marathon” earlier this year I think it was a really eye opening documentary. Focusing on how people with mental health issues used running as an outlet and how the London Marathon charity of the year Heads Together was helping to reduce the stigma of mental health and encouraging people to talk about their battles. So here goes ...
I grew up, very fortunately, without any mental health issues and to be truthful was very naive as to the issues people face. It’s only over the past few years as I have started to struggle with my physical health my mental health has also slightly declined. However this year it’s taken a real hit!
If you read my last blog about my near residence in hospital at the start of the year this is where it’s all escalated from. It’s funny how our minds work. I don’t remember much of my stay but my mind would (and sometimes still does even after 8 months) wake me up in a panic about it! I didn’t want to walk past people in case they saw me at my worst and I didn’t remember them. I didn’t like how being in hospital and my medications were affecting my memory and slowing my thought processing so in turn I just got more frustrated by it all therefore starting down that slippery path!
With my physical health I was very keen to improve it, doing what I was told to get my epilepsy and others back on track. However I didn’t want to talk about how it was making me feel, I had the aged old thought that my emotions would just sort themselves out.
I’ve had other hospital admissions this year and with each admission I was getting more frustrated and emotionally feeling more drained. If asked I would slap on a fake smile or laugh and say “ye, I’m absolutely fine”.
To everyone else I imagine it was becoming glaringly obvious I wasn’t “fine”. To the person; who is now one of my main confidants, that sat me down for 50 mins and asked how I was doing emotionally I apologise for sitting in silence that whole time! I wasn’t one for expressing feelings of sadness and stupidly thought it was a sign of weakness.
I felt really guilty for feeling low, l’ve got engaged and have bought a house this year ... how can this emotion still be draining me? It was making me lose interest in things and feel completely isolated even though the support network I have is brilliant; I didn’t want to speak or see anyone. This is when I knew it was getting too much. I felt like I was balancing on a tightrope and only one comment or knock of confidence, which I would normally laugh off was making it all that harder to balance. When I was allowed back out running, magically I thought this would be the cure. Although it helped, these feelings were still there ... therefore I knew it was time to seek professional help.
There are all different avenues to help with mental health issues: speaking to your friends/family, counselling, seeing your GP and medications can also help. I have always remained adamant from a personal preference I didn’t want medication in case it interacted with the others I take. Therefore I’m not afraid to say I have benefited from many a chat with friends and family but have also sought professional help from a counsellor. Sometimes its good to speak to someone who is not involved with you at all. I feel the mix of the two are what benefit me most and can honestly say some of the chats I have to those closest to me help keep me functioning.
I feel if I had started to talk about the emotions my diagnoses gave me 3/4 years ago rather than laughing them off I don’t think I’d have taken as much of a hit this year! I’m still very much learning how to deal with my emotions and overcoming setbacks but I feel I’m getting better at talking about them now to help me move on... I recently had a seizure that halted 5 months seizure free, so I talked about it, expressed the emotion and frustration the day after then a brand new day started without that emotion built up inside, which normally would grind me down.
Mental health covers such a wide spectrum of conditions and issues, often two people aren’t the same. For myself I was getting increasingly unhappy about what my epilepsy and other health problems were physically doing to my body and I was losing sight of (and without knowing grieving for) the person I used to be and had started to feel worthless and a burden to others. Sometimes mental health problems are just how a person feels, they can’t just snap out of it as much as they would like to do, it’s their feelings and they need help to overcome them.
1 in 4 people in the UK will suffer a mental health problem in a year. Given those statistics unfortunately I think it will hit most of us at some point. If you start to suffer I would encourage you to seek help early, don’t be afraid to talk to others it’s amazing what they’ll have been through too and don’t worry about the stigma attached ... the more we talk about it the more it reduces.
If you take anything from this if you see someone who is starting to struggle lend an offering hand, ask them how they are, go for a coffee, whatever will help that person best. If you’re the one struggling utilise that lending hand, as much as you might want to fight it on your own, it’s good to get those vent up emotions out.
Can’t thank those enough who are helping me on this path, you’re all legends!!
My grandpa always used to tell me to speak the truth ... so this one is for you grumps xx
Sara