Even though it is over a year ago I remember the day at the hospital like yesterday when the consultant said "you have epilepsy". He went onto to tell me what happens next, medications and more hospital visits etc. but I wasn't really listening.
My GP had already told me before referring me to the neurologist his thoughts were that I had epilepsy, but before the consultant confirmed it I still had hope that they were going to say nothing was wrong.
My initial thoughts were:
- WOW! - I know this is a very weird thing to think, but that is the first word that came into my head. I was shocked, upset, frightened. I felt a lot of emotion but I remember showing no emotion on the outside, I didn't want to look weak. I now know talking and dealing with how you feel is a lot better for you.
- What about my car? I used to love driving and the independence it gives you. How was I going to get anywhere? What would I do with my car? My car got sold and I got a travelcard which gives me free train, bus and tram travel in Manchester which has been extremely beneficial.
- Could I work? Anyone that knows me know I love my job and I thought this diagnosis was going to put a stop on me doing it. A year and a lot of adjustments later, with a lot of support from work I am still in the job I love.
- What would people think? I didn't want anyone to treat me any differently and I was really worried about what people would think. I still worry what people think but the people that matter treat me no differently.
- What will the medication do? I didn't have a clue how the medication would affect me and its been up and down, I'll write about my medication in another blog.
87 people a day in the UK are diagnosed with epilepsy a day, I wonder what the other 86 people felt on 21st August 2014...